The Hobbit Slayer
by Renee' Girard
Summary: Mickey the hobbit slayer travles middle earth ridding it of all hobbits and trying to earn big bucks
1. Default Chapter

THE HOBBIT SLAYER  
  
PROLOGUE  
  
"AAAAAH!!!!!!" Yells a group of little Hobbits as they scurry about. "What have we done to deserve this?!?" Questions one little Hobbit as he gets crushed. "Ha! Ha! Ha! No Hobbit escapes me!" laughs Mickey the Hobbit slayer. " Please Mr. Mickey don't hurt us. I'll do anything you say just don't hurt my village!" Pleads the village elder. "Shut up." Says Mickey as he beats him with his own arm. "Ha! Ha! Ha! Look at the stupid Hobbits run. Get em Mickey! Get em!" Chuckles the lovely Sarah. One hour later Mickey and Sarah walk from a burning village were five hundred used to live happily but now are destroyed (if you couldn't tell from the paragraph above). Thanks to MICKEY THE HOBBIT SLAYER and SARAH THE TAUNTER OF HOBBITS associated with MICKEY THE HOBBIT SLAYER. 


	2. Chapter One

CHAPTER ONE  
  
Mickey throws open the doors to king Jacob of the West's throne room, for he owns the land of the West because the West is what his father owned, and it is the West which his father's father used to own, and it is the West of which his father's father's father used to own. Because the West is what the king of the West has owned ever since the kings of the West came into the West and ever since the West came into existence into the West. "Where's my money king Jacob of the West. I have wiped out all the Hobbits in the West as you asked because I expect you want your kingdom to expand more into the West. Am I right?" "Yes, yes, yes you are quite right. I do want to expand my kingdom into the West because I have a great liking for the West. For you see my father owned the land of the West and his father owned the land of the West and his.(TWO LONG AND BOREING HOURS LATER) and his father owned the land of the West. So you see I must own more land to the West. So your payment is." King Jacob of the West slips Mickey a large roll of parchment that had a large sum of gold on it. "Wow! That's a lot!" yells Mickey. "But that's not all you get." Replies king Jacob of the West, "you also get two brand new horses complete with guided steering, driver side hay bags and horse insurance. And that's no Bull!" "Cool thanks. I'll just be taking the gold and horses and leaving now. Farewell king Jacob of the West who owns all to the West." "See yall later!" replies king Jacob of the West " may your travels be filled with numerous Hobbits to bash and smash." Mickey the Hobbit slayer and Sarah the taunted of Hobbits associated with Mickey the hobbit slayer leave King Jacob of the West and walk through the town of West owned by King Jacob of the West who owns the West. 


	3. Chapter Two

CHAPTER TWO  
  
As Mickey and Sarah walk through the town of West the bump into what seems to be a very, very plump gnome. "Who are you and why do you dare to run into me, MICKEY THE HOBBIT SLAYER and SARAH THE TAUNTER OF HOBBITS associated with me MICKEY THE HOBBIT SLAYER." Roared Mickey fiercely. " My name is Alex." Replied the round little dwarf, "Alex the hungry." Mickey and Sarah just stare with disgust. "Perhaps you would like to know why I am named ALEX THE HUNGRY? It's because I chew up my enemies and spit them out in battle." Chuckled Alex to himself. "I heard you're named that because you've eaten every known gnome village out of house and home." Said Mickey. "I've heard that two, little one." Laughed Sarah as she patted Alex on the head. " Stop iiiiiit!" Whined Alex as he turns away. "My name is Alex the hungry because I chew up my enemies and spit them out, and nothing more." " Ooooook if you say so." Sarah and Mickey say together as they walk away. While they're about to leave the town of West Alex stops them, they both could tell he had been running. "Let, WHEEZE, me, COUGH, come with, WHEEZE, you." After he said that he pulled out his inhaler and took a big puff. Then he proceeded to pull out a chicken leg from his bag tied to his round waste and eat it. "I've been thrown out of every dinner in town and I need some one to talk to." "All right you can come with us, just don't slow us down." So they set off, a human, an elf, and a chubby little dwarf. What a site they were Mickey, tall, buff looking, and rugged. Sarah, tall, slimming, and beautiful. And Alex short, round, and he looked as though he ate both of Sarah and Mickey's horses. (Which he did) 


	4. Chapter Three

CHAPTER THREE  
  
As the three companions reached their next destination, THE TOWER OF MYSTICAL MAGIC POWERS AND OTHER SUCH MISCELLANEOUS THINGS, they stared in awe and wander, "You know guys this tower really strikes awe and wander in me." Said Mickey with awe and wander. "I agree this tower really does have sense of awe and wander." Agreed Sarah with awe and wander. "I'm hungry! And Tired!! And I want some one to carry me!!!" bellowed Alex without awe and wander. "You are really starting get on my nerves fat boy" Grumbled Sarah. "Stop making fun of my weight! I'm not fat, I'm just sorta husky and big boned and I'm kinda heavy. Oh yeah and I'm just a little bit wide." "No you're just fat." Agreed Mickey, "Now lets go inside the Tower of mystical magic powers and other such miscellaneous things before sun down, and no Alex we wont carry you." So Mickey the Hobbit slayer, Sarah the taunter of Hobbits , and Alex the hungry set off for the tower of mystical magic powers and other such miscellaneous things determined to get there before it got dark. But unfortunately it got dark before they got there so they had to set up camp for the night. "I want a bed not a sleeping bag! Why can't we eat more? How come you guys get tents while I have to sleep out side? And why do you keep on throwing rocks at me, what am I doing?" complained Alex loudly. "SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP OR WE'LL MAKE YOU WISH YOU'VE NEVER BEEN BORN!!!" Mickey and Sarah shouted together. "Sheesh, you don't have to get touchy." Alex replied back. "GO TO SLEEP!!!" Later that night the girly screaming of Alex awakened Sarah and Mickey. "Alex quit screaming like a little girl and go back to sleep!" Mickey said without opening his eyes. "I heard a rustling in the bushes, no doubt some horrid beast waiting to devour me in its gruesome jaws of death!" Whimpered Alex. "And I heard some round little dwarf screaming more girly than my little sister." Sarah replied. Just as she said that the bushes rustled again and two gleaming eyes could be seen between the branches and leaves. Alex screamed again and fainted, and out jumped a a a HOBBIT!?! 


	5. Comment

Please comment on the chapters you just read. =) 


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